The party boys guide to dating a geek

He interacts well with his family and has a loving relationship with his parents and siblings.

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None of the ideas I’m going to explore here are necessary descriptive of your son, but they might help to organize our thinking.

Your son is a member of a social class often described in colloquial terms as nerds. It allows us to talk in general terms about a group of individual who have similar social awkwardness issues.

Nerds can become very good at their chosen fields because they have very little to keep them from devoting all of their energy to those fields.

These are not balanced people with rich social lives.

Since I can’t think of a better term to use to describe such individuals, let’s talk about the psychology of the nerd. Some people are a little nerdy, while others are very nerdy. People grow out of being nerds; they don’t become nerds in later life.

The more nerdy you get, the more you tend to be oblivious of yourself as a social object and to behave in socially awkward ways such as dressing badly or failing to take subtle hints. Because nerds are awkward and un-smooth, they tend to be rejected and isolated by peers, and because it is emotionally painful to experience such marginalization, they tend to push themselves to be excellent in aspects of life that do not require social skills.He is not generally depressed (he has many professional successes and is quite respected), but his clumsy social skills and lack of romantic relationship do depress him. When in his element (chemistry, history, politics, or near his family) he is confident and imposing, and often humorous (he has a keen sense of humor).His main concern is that he will not succeed in finding a life-partner and will not raise a family (which he dearly wishes to do).The big lie that a nerd tells him or herself is that they will make a satisfying life for themselves based purely on their intellectual pursuits.For some minority of nerds, this may be possible, but I think for many others, the "life of the mind" becomes excruciatingly lonely after a while.We use a technology provided by Facebook called The Facebook Pixel.